Little Johnny's Revenge!

Little Johnny and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of the cooler.
Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Little johnny answered, "No!"
Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Little Johnny answered no, again.
Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar."
A little later, Little Johnny came out of the house with a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?"
Little Johnny asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!"
Little Johnny replied, "Then go f**ck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."